If you “forgive, but never forget” – can you ever truly move on?
If you “forgive, but never forget” – can you ever truly move on?
By Catherine
We have all heard the saying, “Forgive, but never forget.” I know I heard the mantra numerous times from my mother after a boyfriend (or two) broke my little, high school heart. I suppose this was meant to be a compromise between taking the higher road and always remembering so we can learn from past mistakes. Ultimately, we are to be better people for it. However, a twisted paradox ends up forming that leaves ourselves and our relationships changed forever. Past wrongdoings will always be tucked away in the back of your mind.
Now, I am not saying it is impossible to do so. But, forgiveness is a tough thing. Can any of us truly say we have forgiven everyone who hurt us 100%? Some people are very easy to forgive – like a sister or brother who takes your clothes without asking. For others, we have to find the strength to forgive for the most unthinkable transgressions – like the infidelity of a partner or spouse.
And even if you do decide to forgive your loved one, would it really be possible to put the past out of your mind and move on with the relationship? Could the relationship ever be made whole and safe again?
Sure, you can make replacement piers and towers out of all the “I’m sorry” and “I will make this up to you” apologies to keep the cables aloft. But, the anchors, the most important parts of any bridge – trust and honesty – are forever shattered.
For me, this is one bridge that can never be completely mended.
I can forgive the person who hurt me. Being angry at him or her will only foster hatred and wasted energy.
I just pray for them…
I haven’t been to church since I don’t remember when
Things were going great ’til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you can’t go hating others who have done wrong to you.
Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn.
Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them.
I pray your brakes go out running down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you’re flying high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you
I’m really glad I found my way to church
‘Cause I’m already feeling better and I thank God for the words.
Yeah I’m going take the high road,
And do what the preacher told me to do,
You keep messing up and I’ll keep praying for you.
I pray your tire blows out at 110.
I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with his and her tattoos.
I pray your brakes go out running down a hill.
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to.
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you’re flying high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car,
wherever you are honey, I pray for you.
I pray for you
“I Pray For You” – Jaron and The Long Road to Love